Monday, January 16, 2006
i woke up today and didnt feel like going to school.. so i didnt. been having my own personal tv marathon over the weekend and today, which is getting in the way with my study plans. but one tree hill is so addictive, and my mum has just returned with the complete second season and the first season of QaF. and the o.c. and smallville has started again. which spells doom with a capital D. watched the last episode of the first season of one tree hill today.. and started sobbing and sobbing. as i usually do during last episodes of tv shows, theyre written to make you sad. always. and well there was so many things that were so applicable to my life that just.. struck me. and well, the song at the end.. run by snow patrol. reminded me of things ive been trying to forget.
anyway. went to school late for bmdp meeting and dramafeste meeting.. then shopped for glen's birthday present with jade. happy 18th birthday in advance glen :] i'm slowly discovering more people that i have things in common with, like JEAN primary school friend i love you and i am your theraphist :D and jade! we enjoy cabbing to places and hate running (other than when we think we're going to miss mrt trains or to get out of the rain heh) and eat rather little. i dont mind that things like df and the bmdp thing is going to take up a considerable amount of my time.. as well as SiMUN and stuff. because of the people involved too. makes school related activities alot more fun.
there's so much i miss about last year though. my life now is significantly different from what it used to be, and my circle of friends and the people i hang around with.. and how i spend my days in school. school this year is going to be such a nightmare. things just sort of keep going downhill.. and i feel so incredibly helpless, i dont know what to do to prevent things from becoming any worse. (if thats even possible) walking through town today after a very long time, and it reminded me of recent memories of walking through the same places.. like hyatt hotel. and orchard mrt. and far east.. and as silly as this sounds i wish for the holidays again. when i was alot happier and when life seemed so much simplier and everything seemed like a dream, while it lasted. i mean of course i knew things like that dont last forever.. jc has been a whole cycle of people who i've gotten close to and then slowly drifted away in such short times. everything very fleeting. but i could hardly have imagined this. ah well. ive spent too much time thinking about all of this that i just dont know what to say anymore.
this blog isnt quite as reflective as my current state of mind or emotions, because there's always this consciousness that people are reading this so. things that should be kept private are.. kept private. i'm not very open about alot of things, contrary to what i used to think about myself.
Where are you and I'm so sorry I cannot sleep, I cannot dream tonight I need somebody and always This sick strange darkness Comes creeping on so haunting every time And as I stared I counted The webs from all the spiders Catching things and eating their insides Like indecision to call you And hear your voice of treason Will you come home and stop this pain tonight Stop this pain tonight Don't waste your time on me you're already The voice inside my head (I miss you, miss you) Don't waste your time on me you're already The voice inside my head (I miss you, miss you)not like it matters anyway, right.
btw to you you and you who shall not be named (yes thats 3 different people), thankyou so much i love you all. go figure out whether im talking about you :]
shib picked a flower @ 10:30 PM
